Episode 42 - Turning Your Weaknesses Into Your Strengths with Kyndall Ahonen
[00:00:00] In this episode of Great Practices, I'm talking with Kendall Ahonen. A recent transplant from Atlanta, Georgia to Helsinki, Finland.
[00:00:08] Listen in as Kendall reflects on some of her experiences and the challenges she faced moving from one side of the Atlantic all the way to the other side, and then some. You'll find out how Kendall was able to navigate her identity becoming blurred, massive amounts of uncertainty, and realizing that she did things very differently than everyone else.
[00:00:30] Kind of sounds like a new job, doesn't it? Well, we'll draw those similarities at the end of this episode. Plus, find out the difference between growing and changing, how there's nothing worse than a worse, insincere version of yourself, and what negative 20 degrees Celsius feels like in Fahrenheit.
[00:00:54] [00:01:00]
[00:01:20] Chris: We'd like to welcome you to this episode of Great Practices. And today we are going international with our first guest from Helsinki, Finland, Kendall Ahonen. To set things up, there's a concept called the paradox of strength. This is when a strength that's relied on too much or applied in the wrong context Can become a liability or a weakness and prevent or even sabotage progress.
[00:01:47] Chris: For example, maybe your strength as a project manager is an extreme attention to detail. You do an amazing job and are promoted to run your company's PMO. You quickly find that this strength, attention [00:02:00] to detail, turns into a weakness, micromanagement, and you quickly lose your effectiveness.
[00:02:07] Chris: Other examples apply as well. Confidence, that can turn into arrogance. Risk taking can turn into recklessness. And persistence can lead to stubbornness. But let's say we flipped the script and we turned our weaknesses Into our strength, what if arrogance turned into confidence, recklessness turned into measured risk taking and stubbornness led to productive persistence?
[00:02:36] Chris: Well, that's what we're going to be discussing with Kendall today. We're going to be uncovering some situations where she found herself maybe in a less than ideal or uncomfortable position. And then the steps that she took to remedy things and flip the script. Kendall, welcome to great practices.
[00:02:54] Kyndall: Thanks so much for having me. I am so excited to be here.
[00:02:58] Chris: Well now Kendall, I got to [00:03:00] ask you this because I I said you're from Helsinki Finland But that does not sound like a finish Accent to me. Can you tell us a little bit more about yourself and and how you ended up in Helsinki?
[00:03:12] Kyndall: Yeah, I'm definitely not finished. I'm from a little outside of Atlanta, Georgia. , and I've only been in Finland for about a year and a half, but I moved in 2023, summer of 2023. , when I met my husband and we got married and decided to start a life in Helsinki.
[00:03:31] Chris: Okay, excellent So you've been there? Maybe a little bit over 18 months or so and that is a huge difference. I can imagine from Atlanta, Georgia To Helsinki Finland. I mean that's like almost night and day literally
[00:03:47] Kyndall: Yeah.
[00:03:48] Chris: What were some of the challenges that you experienced when you moved and and how did maybe these bring some of the weaknesses that you maybe didn't even know you had into into light
[00:03:59] Kyndall: [00:04:00] Yeah. I think. Like the first one that stood out to me was the language. It's unlike anything I had heard before. And day to day, you're just hearing, um, the culture is also quite different. You know, I'm used to maybe Southern hospitality and Finnish culture does not scream Southern hospitality. Um, and then, like I said, it was also starting a new marriage when I moved here.
[00:04:24] Kyndall: So that was something new to work out. And then as far as. work goes. Legally, I wasn't allowed to. So a lot of, a lot of different situations there.
[00:04:37] Chris: tell us a little bit about the weather and the the days there because I understand that's a little bit different too than Atlanta, Georgia
[00:04:45] Kyndall: Yeah. Yeah. Especially right now in the winter, we're on the upside of things. Days are getting longer and we're getting maybe a little over six hours of sunlight every day, but most of those sunny days are covered in clouds. [00:05:00] So it doesn't really feel like much.
[00:05:02] Chris: so you've got all of these challenges coming at you at the same time, a new language, a new culture, new location, a new relationship.
[00:05:10] Chris: Um, you said you couldn't, you couldn't work, right? You said legally you couldn't work. Like what, what was it that you did for work anyway? Right.
[00:05:18] Kyndall: Um, yeah, so it's kind of cool. Finland has this program for foreigners that when they move, you can do an integration program, and the government will pay you unemployment if you go to this school to learn the language and, um, about the culture. So I was doing that.
[00:05:34] Chris: Okay, got it. So that was kind of easing you into the culture. And then ultimately, like, what do you do for work anyway? Like, what did that look like?
[00:05:42] Kyndall: Yeah, also a little bit different than that. I'm a hairstylist by trade.
[00:05:47] Chris: Got it. So you just got all kinds of different moving parts happening at the same time here and just trying to figure it all out. How, how scary was it to face all of these challenges coming to you at the same time?
[00:05:59] Kyndall: [00:06:00] Yeah, I think. The short answer is it was scary, um, because you go from having your life together, knowing who you are and all of your different roles to having all of that taken from you. Um, I think any one of those challenges would be scary on its own, but to have them all together was something else.
[00:06:19] Chris: So I would venture to say massive levels of uncertainty. Would that be an accurate, an accurate statement, just like you were grounded and rooted and kind of knew what your next day was going to look like. And now totally different environment that you're in and there's uncertainty every corner you take.
[00:06:40] Chris: Um, can you think of any examples of how bad things became maybe, maybe some of the lowest moments that you had as you're figuring all of this kind of stuff out?
[00:06:51] Kyndall: Yeah, I think like one period is very clear talking about the lowest point. It was my first winter here. [00:07:00] Um, and just to paint the picture a little bit, it was the snowiest, coldest winter I've ever experienced. Um, every morning felt like a blizzard. And then temperatures were minus 20 Celsius, which I think is still something minus Fahrenheit.
[00:07:16] Chris: I think it's minus like 300 Fahrenheit,
[00:07:18] Kyndall: Yeah, probably, something like that. So, then, I walked to school in this. And in my language class, which also is me and 30 other students from 30 other countries. Kind of just like, you know, a number thrown into a class with all these people and the gist of it some days It really did feel like you're just being told you're not from here.
[00:07:44] Kyndall: You're not from here. You have to learn to be like us So I think as a whole that winter was a pretty low point for myself
[00:07:53] Chris: All right, so let me recap. So it's freezing cold. You're walking in the snow in the dark to [00:08:00] go to a place where you barely know the language and then to be basically told you're not from here. You're not from here. You will probably not fit in and Going through that. Okay. All right. Well, that's pretty
[00:08:11] Kyndall: it was awesome.
[00:08:12] Chris: yeah, that's I would say that's pretty low and it's probably not a low moment that may have been like probably sounds like a low low months, I guess, right?
[00:08:20] Chris: Is that kind of what you're going through there?
[00:08:22] Kyndall: Yeah
[00:08:23] Chris: Okay. So you've got all of this stuff coming at you. You realize how How low you have become, how maybe some of these weaknesses that have become evident. What steps did you begin to start taking to transition these weaknesses and just feel this feelings of lowness, turning them into your strengths?
[00:08:44] Kyndall: Yeah, I think definitely it was necessity because at the core of it, it's that feeling of not belonging. and all the uncertainty that comes with that. So part of it was I, a lot of my identity is rooted in being a hairstylist and my [00:09:00] work. So I had that taken from me. Um, so that was Maybe something that made me feel weak.
[00:09:06] Kyndall: And then also, like I mentioned with language and culture and then, the uncertainty that comes with not fitting in. So my very first step in this was trying to get out of the situation of being in this school. After getting to a point where I could learn the language enough, I decided to start looking for a salon that I could work in and I was so excited.
[00:09:30] Kyndall: I found one salon that looked so similar to the salon I used to work at in the States. I applied, got accepted and started a new job. And I thought that this was going to be the solution to everything. Get part of my identity back. So, starting there my first day, I realized then I was in the same situation, surrounded by people whose culture I don't understand, language I don't understand, and even maybe styles that are different than mine. Um, so I had [00:10:00] to start over again because I didn't want to get to that low point and just stay in that from here on. So, number one was mostly with, customer service, something as simple as that. Um, my first couple of days at the salon, I realized. How quiet Finnish people are and how loud I am. and I was embarrassed about that at first, but then eventually I decided, you know what, this is who I am and let's just lean into it and let's see what happens.
[00:10:34] Kyndall: So my clients come in, I say, how's your family? How's your mom? How's your kids? How's this? And we have great conversations. And a lot of, my clients now have commented on my customer service, which is great knowing that that is a benefit. Now,
[00:10:51] Chris: So you leaned into being a loud American, which I think you're very good at. Right.
[00:10:59] Kyndall: Yeah. I don't know [00:11:00] if that's a good thing, but at least here it is.
[00:11:02] Chris: Okay. All right. That's good. I like that idea about leaning into it. It's like, number one, you identified who you were, and number two, you stuck with it and you made the most out of that. So you really transitioned. Uh, you transition what could have been considered a weakness. Into a strength.
[00:11:17] Chris: So love that. What else? What other, what other, I don't know, weakness or challenge that you have to kind of flip the script on.
[00:11:24] Kyndall: this is maybe a bit job specific, but at least with the hairstyles that are popular here, everybody is naturally blonde, so the end result is trying to be as blonde as possible. In the States, I made it my specialty to work with somebody's natural hair color. And hopefully give them a result that they can live with for three to six months, which is not the common thing here.
[00:11:50] Kyndall: so what I've tried to do is explaining this process to my clients that maybe they, Only idea that they have is that they can be blonder, but then [00:12:00] explaining this new idea with a new end result has been something that my clients have been really excited about and I've heard, which I hope not to brag, but a few have said that it's the best that their hair has ever looked and it just really makes me so happy to hear that.
[00:12:18] Chris: So what is this new thing? Like make it as dark as possible. Is that the, is that the, is that the trick
[00:12:24] Kyndall: Yeah, we just dye everything black.
[00:12:25] Chris: Yeah, that's right.
[00:12:27] Kyndall: But again, the, the point is being is that you took what maybe was, was a weakness. And then you just leaned into that as well, turned it into a specialty.
[00:12:38] Chris: And now people are responding and reacting very well to that. So love that. Love that example.
[00:12:45] Kyndall: So Kendall, what principles, when you look back over this, you know, 18 months or so that you've been, been in Finland, what principles did you apply to make this transition? You know, basically going from these weaknesses to these strengths, going from, from where you were when [00:13:00] you first got there to where you are now, what, uh, what were some of those principles you applied?
[00:13:05] Kyndall: Yeah, I think one thing sticks in my mind quite a lot, and it's, the idea of not changing who you are. It's, of course, always good to have personal growth. but change is different from growth. Um, and kind of what I mean by that is that sounds pretty cliche, but more in the sense that if you change yourself to be something else, then you're just going to be a worse, more insincere version of yourself instead of leaning into the strength that you have that might just be misapplied.
[00:13:36] Chris: And I can't think of anything worse than a worse insincere version Of yourself. I mean, that's that's terrible. Why would you why would you want to do that? Yeah, exactly All right. So bottom line is what i'm hearing you say is just be genuine I mean, I think that's kind of your I think that's what it nets out to with this and be who you are and just just make the most of that.
[00:13:56] Chris: Um, How are things going now?
[00:13:58] Kyndall: Yeah. Um, [00:14:00] this year has been so different from last year. I feel back in control. I know my life again, and I know my role again, which is huge.
[00:14:11] Chris: It's perfect. And I and I do like that too is like you were swimming in a sea of ice No identity, the sea of no identity and just not knowing who you were and having to figure that out again, and that was number one, you figured that out, and then you, and then you built upon that.
[00:14:28] Chris: So Kendall, if there was one great practice that you think would help our listeners today turn their weaknesses into strengths, what would that be?
[00:14:35] Kyndall: Yeah, I think it's just a matter of not necessarily thinking about terms of weaknesses and strengths per se, but maybe discomfort and comfort. So focusing on what's making you uncomfortable and seeing what you can do to change that. Um, instead of being scared of it, just maybe sometimes lean into it a little bit more.
[00:14:56] Chris: Great advice. So we [00:15:00] are an international podcast after all. I mean, we've been, you know, uh, Now Finland. So let's say that somebody was visiting Helsinki and they wanted to make an appointment with you. They wanted to see what this, this, this loud American does in a Finnish salon. Uh, what would be the best way to reach you?
[00:15:22] Kyndall: I'm always checking Instagram messages, hate to say it, but Kindle a hair is the easiest way.
[00:15:29] Chris: Kendall a hair is the easiest way. On Instagram. Okay, perfect. , Kendall, thanks for being such a great guest today. And I get it that this is off topic a little bit from what we would normally do, but I can't help but think that people, you know, this is a new year and people are starting maybe new jobs, new positions, new responsibilities.
[00:15:51] Chris: And there's going to be varying levels and degrees of. Just discomfort, like you said, um, or feeling as if you may be in a [00:16:00] weak and a vulnerable position because you're not used to that environment that you're in. But I've got to say that these, great practices that you talked about today absolutely will make it easier for somebody that's adjusting.
[00:16:11] Chris: To a new situation, and I'm wrapping up Kendall with your mom and I miss you very much. Um, but we're glad things are going well and we can't wait to see you later this year.
[00:16:21] Kyndall: You dropped the bomb.
[00:16:22] Chris: Yeah, well, you know, I just had to do that there. So, Kendall, thanks for being on today. Proud of you over there and we will talk to you soon.
[00:16:30] Kyndall: Talk to you soon.
[00:16:35] Chris: well, that was certainly a little bit of a different episode, uh, and there's no surprise that that was my daughter that was on today and I was glad to have her on. We talked about the idea a couple of weeks ago about how is it that we could get a hairstylist from Helsinki, Finland on and make a connection with the podcast about PMOs and project management.
[00:16:56] Chris: Well, here's the connection, uh, PMO leaders, project [00:17:00] management, all of these things is nothing more than a job and jobs change. You could be starting at a new place, a new employer or a new contract is starting, or you could be moving into a different position.
[00:17:14] Chris: Maybe you got a promotion at your job where you're at now, or the reality is you could be doing something entirely different, even in the same company that you're at now, we all have to deal with change. And that change is going to feel very uncomfortable at times.
[00:17:30] Chris: and we could feel weak and vulnerable in some of those situations. So that's really the connection that I wanted to make on today's episode, I've changed jobs a number of times myself over my career.
[00:17:44] Chris: And there is nothing worse than that empty, lonely feeling of walking into that big new building for that first time. You don't know anybody. You don't know where, you don't know where the bathrooms are. You don't know where the [00:18:00] water fountains are. Nothing. It's, it's an exciting time too, but it's also terrifying.
[00:18:04] Chris: So you just have to be able to embrace that uncertainty and figure out how to make the most of it. So how did Kendall make the most out of this change in this uncomfortableness that she found herself in initially? Well, she did three steps. I thought these are pretty good right here. I thought these are really good.
[00:18:22] Chris: Number one She established her identity She figured out who she was what she stood for And there was really no need to change that when you start somewhere new people don't know who you are They don't know what you've done. They don't know what you're like. You can let them know You've got to make sure that you're clear on that yourself, but then you can let them know you can amplify that perhaps while you're new in these relationshipsand just stand by who it is that you are and establish that identity.
[00:18:51] Chris: The second thing that she did was she leaned into who she was. Uh, she's building that great clientele because of. Who she is, is [00:19:00] she is talkative and inquisitive and conversational. So rather than necessarily just kind of getting into a mold or the way that everybody else is the same way in this different country where that's not necessarily the norm, she's embracing that and people are responding well to that.
[00:19:18] Chris: So you've got a new position, establish your identity, lean into who you are. And then finally, the third thing she did was she's doing things the way that she did them. So she brought a different experience, a different way of doing hair to a new place. Could have fallen into that same old way of doing the same old things that everybody else was doing, but she would have just blended right in, just kind of disappeared.
[00:19:43] Chris: But she found a way to differentiate herself. So, if we're starting a new position, a new job, they're hiring you because they want something new. They want something different. They want something to change. So you can be that person and make that happen. And [00:20:00] one final thing that I liked that she said, she basically overthrew my whole concept of, you know, turning your, your weaknesses into strengths.
[00:20:07] Chris: She says, ah, I don't even see it that way. I don't see as weaknesses and strengths. I see it as discomfort. And comfort. So what can you do to make the uncomfortable comfortable? And that's just by The more you do something, the easier and the more predictable it becomes, and the more you feel in control. So we'd like to thank Kendall again for being on Great Practices today and sharing her insight with us. And do you have a great practice you'd like to share? You can go to the PMO leader. com, click on resources, great practices, podcast, and fill out the form at the bottom of the screen.
[00:20:44] Chris: Someone will get in touch with you shortly and be sure not to miss a single episode by subscribing to great practices on your favorite podcast platform. And if you like what you've heard, we've got great guests that have been on. We've got more great guests coming. Be [00:21:00] sure to share this with your manager, colleagues, and anybody else you think would benefit.
[00:21:05] Chris: Thanks again for listening to this episode and keep putting great practices into practice.
